Lift like an Opera Singer: Permission to Succeed
I have a concert tonight with the NC Master Chorale at the Meymandi theater in Raleigh. It’s my first performance (not including weekly church choir) since our December concert. I’m not nervous for this concert. I don’t get nervous for chorale concerts anymore but that doesn’t mean I don’t reflect and go through the same process and mindset work as if I’m preparing for a more nerve racking performance. It got me thinking about how my approach to performing, training, and preparation changed. So as I stand here waiting for water to boil and prepare my dinner I thought I’d spew a few things out that are heavy on my mind.
During my time at Ithaca College (master degree number 1) a professor of voice had said in her master class that she gives herself permission to forget all the words during a performance. I found that so comforting because that was my biggest fear. When you’re a singer, the words are connected to everything. Words determine how you react to the music, how you express the music, how you communicate everything to a stage partner and the audience. Knowing that she gave herself permission to let go of that fear was so empowering. I’ve used that tactic since then and trust me when I tell you I have forgotten words. Not that I WANTED to forget the words, but no matter what I would continue my performance despite fumbling over every syllable. I once forgot an entire verse to “Amor” by Strauss and Dan Sato (bless his heart) covered with his immaculate piano skills as if Strauss himself wrote it that way. Just because I give myself permission to fail during a performance doesn’t mean I plan to fail. Could I have prepared the text to “Amor” better? Oh absolutely. After failing so hard with that piece do I know what to fix? 110%. It’s essential to the learning process and to bettering that skill. For tonight’s performance I will have the music in front of me so we don’t need to be so concerned about forgetting words.
I have a string of concerts lined up from now until June that I am very excited about. I also have my first weightlifting meet of 2022 coming up. At the end of April I will be competing at Master’s Nationals in Salt Lake City. I mention this because something dawned on me today as I was making my mental check list in preparation of tonight’s performance. Just like giving myself permission to forget all the words in a performance I have always given myself permission to miss every lift at a meet. I’ve been competing since 2014, so not as long as I’ve been singing. However, the biggest fear at a meet is of course bombing out (aka missing all your lifts). Until this last summer during Virtual Master’s Worlds I hadn’t bombed out. So that approach to performance had worked for me right? Sure, but I also have never gotten 6 out of 6 lifts. So today as I thought about this I realized, in preparing for my meet in just under 5 weeks, what if I decided to give myself permission to make all the lifts? What if from tomorrow’s training to the moment I walk on stage to compete I tell myself it’s OK to make all the lifts? Furthermore, what if I tell myself it’s ok to remember all the words to “Amor” the next time I perform it? I wonder what the out come will be. Honestly, it may be no different. I still think this shift will be important for me personally because I’ve always struggled with being a perfectionist. I don’t want my desire to have a perfect performance become crippling if I DON’T actually have a perfect performance. All of a sudden, however, I don’t think this will become an issue. I’m not telling myself I HAVE to give a perfect performance, it’s just, now I’m giving myself PERMISSION to have one. Maybe that makes no difference to you as the reader. But let me know what you think. Is this view of performance expectations healthy or hindering?
Until next time,
Laura
